Welcome to Me

2006-03-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

Stupid as Usual
So again. You are as you are, brash and thoughtless. When will you learn? Not everyone is as open minded. Especially the people you love. Think a bit you @sshole. F*ck I hate this, I f*cking hate me. Damn. Why can't I be a new and improved version of me? Maybe I can't be maybe I'll just stay a f*cking @sshole forever. I'm really hating me right now. Wanna f*cking get this over with but I just guess I'm to afraid. ~~Hope I'm right for once~~.
P.S.YOU ARE A F*CKING LOSER get that through your thick and arrogant skull.

2006-03-23T07:51:00.000-08:00

Assure me
And all I (all I) Need to know (need to know) Is that I'm something you'll be missing (is that I'm something that you're missing) - You're so Last Summer by Taking Back Sunday
Will I tear you apart? Will it, will it tear you apart? When I turn and walk away?- The After Dinner Payback by From Autumns to Ashes
Well will you? I really need to know. You haven't been dropping hints. You haven't been giving clues. I need to know. If I'm important. I need to know. Will I be something for you to lose? I need to know.But as I think, think deep I doI realize I don't need toBut still the sameI f*cking want to

2006-03-19T09:48:00.000-08:00

isang gabi.

usapang lalake.

*sindi ng yosi*

*hithit*

*buga*

Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba.

*hinga ng malalim*

Bakit ba ganun pare? ilang beses ko napinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit 'sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagigingpatas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal.

*tingin sa stars*

Minsan naiisip ko, alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ng pagmamahal? E yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligaw samahal nya? Ang feeling ng masaktan pagnabasted?

*hithit*

Malamang-lamang siguo, hindi ano?

*buga*

Wala naman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo?

*tingin sa malayo*

Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang, lalake na ang naghihirap. Hassle saten ang panliligaw pero bago pa yun, kung ano-ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten para masabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kaya nila yun? Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae, diba? Tapos liligawan pa naten. Patutunayan na mahal na mahal nga natin sila.

*hit hit*

*buga*

Maghahatid sa bahay, tutulungan, sasabayan, pakakainin, pagtya-tyagaan, lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walang sahod. At ano ang kapalit? Well, depende sa trip nila.

*nag ring ang cellfone*

--hello? ah, o sige. tawagan kita mamaya. wag ka umiyak, pangit naman si Constantine eh.oo, mamaya. love you, bye.--

*sindi ng yosi*

*hit hit*

Oo tol..

*buga*

Sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kahit mahal talaga natin sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa asing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit na di man lang sinusukat bago ayawan. Kaya kahit mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo. Hindi nila alam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot ang kanilang mga standards, kundi uuwi ka lang na badtrip, iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan.

*tingin sa langit*

Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi..

"Hindi pa 'ko ready eh..",

"Sorry pero I think we should just be friends..",

"Ha? Uhhmm.. nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha.."

"Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?"

"Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna..",

"Para lang kitang kapatid e.."

... yaddah yaddah. Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa 'yon para saten. pero tol.. ano?

*hit hit*

hindi naman ata nila alam yun eh. parang sabi mo, laru-laro. chempuhan lang.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*

*lagok*

*lunok*

At hindi lang 'yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa rin ang hassle. Tayo daw ang lalake kaya tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo,tayo,tayo.

*apak sa yosi*

Sila? Ummm? Teka, isipin ko. Ayun. Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kungkelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat badtripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni. Ewan. Ganun ata talaga.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*

*lagok*

*lunok*

Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo ang bahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang ganon natin sila kamahal eh, kaya di na natin iniintindi yun.

*hinga ng malalim*

Alam mo tol, feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e. Iniisip kc nila, pare-pareho lang ang lahat ng lalake. Hindi lang laru-laro. Seryoso...

*tingin sa pader*

*hinga ng malalim*

*iyak*

Ouch... I feel the pain... Well that's a broken romantic for you. I can't be apathectic and callous all the time. Kudos to those who got through the pain, Good luck to us who're trying to manage. And please understand us to the women who'll read this. Yeah we're guys, we're tough. But no heart as cold as ice, as hard as stone can withstand being broken.

2006-03-19T07:57:00.000-08:00

Parental Advisory

Yeah so here, I just made my blog. Made it for my Computer Science class. And you're are still nagging me about not going to sleep on time. You nag me for not doing my school work yet when I do manage to get that mood that I want to do it, you still nag me for taking too long. It usually takes me trice as long to finish as you're watching over my f*cking back. I can't work like that. Yeah you're concerned, but please, leave me alone once in a while, that'll do us both some f*cking good. I need some d*mn space to f*cking breath and you're choking me.

Being strict and all isn't bad. Just don't be too overprotective d*mmit. Trust us sometimes, maybe we do know what we're doing. Don't try to be omniscient and tell us that you know what we need. You f*cking don't. Maybe sometimes, but not always. We can probably manage ourselves good, and we're not idiots, we ask for help when we think we need it. Suck it up, we're GROWING UP. Accept it dammit. We have our own life now. Why are you so f*cking afraid of that? You'll always be a part of it anyway.

Trust us sometimes. It works.